Mondays are notoriously stressful, and today was even more so due to some events at work. But sitting here at the end of the day I realized that not once did I consider reaching for something sweet to calm my nerves. I really didn’t even think about it, which is a major victory for me.
I assume most people don’t rely on sugar as a crutch to get them through the tough times, but I definitely do. Or did. Stressful day at work? Hit the vending machine. Bored? Go somewhere and buy a cookie. Nervous? Snack on whatever is sitting in front of me (usually sweets). Upset? Buy a package of Oreos on the way home. It seemed like sugar and sweets could cure whatever ailed me. Calm my nerves, fill the time, make me feel better. But the truth is, I never really found what I was looking for. Even when I ate my way to the bottom of the package, whatever I was seeking wasn’t there. Often I felt worse, adding guilt and shame to the original emotions. But for some reason I kept coming back, thinking that maybe this time it would work. No, that’s not even true. I didn’t even think about it most of the time. I just bought more, ate more, felt guilty more, and continued in a never-ending destructive cycle.
Today was the first stressful day I can remember in…okay, ever…that I didn’t reach for sweets to cope with the stress. The inadvertent mint? I was talking to someone, thought I needed a mint and grabbed one, then later realized that I had mindlessly done so. But guess what? I grabbed it because I actually needed a mint, not a sugar fix. Wow, that’s the reason most people eat mints, isn’t it? Fascinating.
sweeter without 